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Real life satire from the Bruchsal prison
by Thomas-Meyer Falk
On November 11th each year the so-called 5th season starts in large
parts of Germany -female and male "fools" take to power. The climax are
the carnival parades in the following spring season before Easter.
Whether chance or not may be examined by conspiration theorists - on November 11th, 2002, a lady who had completed her law studies started to serve in the Bruchsal prison. Let us call her governmental advisor Mrs. X, to protect her anonymity.
It was not handed down whether the leader of the institution waited at the entrance gate with a lot of people to welcome her at 11:11 a.m., according to carnival tradition, with the call: "Shall we let her in?" One wishes for that case that a loud "No!" would have been the answer.
In order to obtain the position of a governmental advisor, one does not need to be more intelligent than the average. But one has to - at the cost of the community, of course - complete the "Gymnasium" (high school, the most difficult of three school types in Germany), spend considerable time at university, and finally do one's "assessor's time" - an interim time before one is granted the permanent status of a public officer. Payment starts with a minimum of 2758,01 Euro per month; the community is generous enough to pay in advance and add a 13th monthly payment each year.
Given such a strong support, our (I use this term, for "we" finance her through our tax payments) Mrs. X has to prove that she is quite somebody and quite capable.
In order to allow the reader to understand the following episode in its full depth, we have to turn our attention towards the inmate T. M.-F. He has been kept in strict isolation for a number of years in a cell that has to be called 7 square metres small rather than large, while bed, cupboard, toilet and wash-basin limit the space which is available for movement to about 1 and a half to 2 square metres. He has been suffering from several physical problems, and so he had balloons sent to him which he blows up to do some physical exercises to train, among others, his sense for balance.
Suspecting nothing evil, he asks for a further supply of balloons, for now only one of them is left. But he does not count on Mrs X's expertise.
She denies further supply, for (suddenly?) balloons are said to be difficult to control, and, furthermore, the prisoner might design "water bombs". She has the last remaining balloon taken away by a ward without any justification.
On the following day, our prisoner hands an application to court so that former law students who made it to become a judge may deal with the case that will enter law history as the "balloon affair". As a reaction, he is given a yellow tennis ball made of foam rubber,following a recommendation of the (female) doctor of the institution, S.
And the moral of this story? Mrs X had to go to school for 13 years and then study the law for many semesters in order to let her important function shine in the light of a "balloon affair".
Whether chance or not may be examined by conspiration theorists - on November 11th, 2002, a lady who had completed her law studies started to serve in the Bruchsal prison. Let us call her governmental advisor Mrs. X, to protect her anonymity.
It was not handed down whether the leader of the institution waited at the entrance gate with a lot of people to welcome her at 11:11 a.m., according to carnival tradition, with the call: "Shall we let her in?" One wishes for that case that a loud "No!" would have been the answer.
In order to obtain the position of a governmental advisor, one does not need to be more intelligent than the average. But one has to - at the cost of the community, of course - complete the "Gymnasium" (high school, the most difficult of three school types in Germany), spend considerable time at university, and finally do one's "assessor's time" - an interim time before one is granted the permanent status of a public officer. Payment starts with a minimum of 2758,01 Euro per month; the community is generous enough to pay in advance and add a 13th monthly payment each year.
Given such a strong support, our (I use this term, for "we" finance her through our tax payments) Mrs. X has to prove that she is quite somebody and quite capable.
In order to allow the reader to understand the following episode in its full depth, we have to turn our attention towards the inmate T. M.-F. He has been kept in strict isolation for a number of years in a cell that has to be called 7 square metres small rather than large, while bed, cupboard, toilet and wash-basin limit the space which is available for movement to about 1 and a half to 2 square metres. He has been suffering from several physical problems, and so he had balloons sent to him which he blows up to do some physical exercises to train, among others, his sense for balance.
Suspecting nothing evil, he asks for a further supply of balloons, for now only one of them is left. But he does not count on Mrs X's expertise.
She denies further supply, for (suddenly?) balloons are said to be difficult to control, and, furthermore, the prisoner might design "water bombs". She has the last remaining balloon taken away by a ward without any justification.
On the following day, our prisoner hands an application to court so that former law students who made it to become a judge may deal with the case that will enter law history as the "balloon affair". As a reaction, he is given a yellow tennis ball made of foam rubber,following a recommendation of the (female) doctor of the institution, S.
And the moral of this story? Mrs X had to go to school for 13 years and then study the law for many semesters in order to let her important function shine in the light of a "balloon affair".